This year Mother's Day fell on my birthday. It felt somewhat surreal, because my grandmother died in January of this year, and one of my favorite things about Mother's Day was searching for a wonderfully loving card to send her. She loved cards, and I've kept many of the cards and letters she sent me over the years. She was a pivotal figure in my life, and only my partner's steady embrace could calm me as I wailed in agony a few minutes after she died. I was holding her hand and singing "Blessed Assurance" to her as she took her last breath. It will forever be my most painful, and most cherished memory.

Mother's Day

This year we share this day

45 years ago you and I equally born

I was a foot behind you

And you were learning to nurture with less fear in your heart

It would have been this weekend

I scoured the targethallmark paper tapestry for words that never quite resonated,

pictures neither

I was your Friday to Sunday

jack in the box whose song was from the heart

What a time we had, learning to be loving from each other

I’m sorry if you heard me screaming

I didn’t mean to leave the earth

You know I couldn’t bear the thought of you going

Without me.

-qv