Been thinking about relationships. The way they ignite, sparkle and then sometimes dim. Thinking about how many of my black girlfriends have raged about being told that they are “too much”. And how our rage stays contained in that close circle, to avoid any surreptitious nods from outsiders. Knowing that the real culprit is the fear of those on the outside looking in; amazed by our resilience and unabashed determination to live our best lives. I am probably too willing to forgive and seek the good in people. And I know this is a privileged place for me to dwell in; so I guess that makes me even more determined to value connection for what it teaches me.
Spark
Even if it caught fire
And singed skin to skin
And melded words to touch
And offered us its fever
You wouldn’t know how to love me
I’m sure you could hit
The right spots
Push the right buttons
Hold me just so
But loving me would be too much
To bear witness to half a life spent
Glowing through the thick of terror
Skipping through mines of misunderstanding
And sobbing underneath skeleton skies
You couldn’t find words or gifts
You couldn’t stand in this orbit with me; still and inviting
Ready to push away the earth so I could breathe in and out
The mystery of you tickles places inside me
that rarely find such innocence and freedom
When time spreads and allows your bones to surrender
I will accept this as your courage
-qv
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