Been thinking about relationships. The way they ignite, sparkle and then sometimes dim. Thinking about how many of my black girlfriends have raged about being told that they are “too much”. And how our rage stays contained in that close circle, to avoid any surreptitious nods from outsiders. Knowing that the real culprit is the fear of those on the outside looking in; amazed by our resilience and unabashed determination to live our best lives. I am probably too willing to forgive and seek the good in people. And I know this is a privileged place for me to dwell in; so I guess that makes me even more determined to value connection for what it teaches me.

Spark

Even if it caught fire

And singed skin to skin

And melded words to touch

And offered us its fever

You wouldn’t know how to love me

I’m sure you could hit

The right spots

Push the right buttons

Hold me just so

But loving me would be too much

To bear witness to half a life spent

Glowing through the thick of terror

Skipping through mines of misunderstanding

And sobbing underneath skeleton skies

You couldn’t find words or gifts

You couldn’t stand in this orbit with me; still and inviting

Ready to push away the earth so I could breathe in and out

The mystery of you tickles places inside me

that rarely find such innocence and freedom

When time spreads and allows your bones to surrender

I will accept this as your courage

-qv